Intimacy – it’s a word used so often in couples therapy (and individual therapy) sessions. It’s described differently across various sources, referred to constantly by some people seeking more of it, and sometimes used only to describe sex. Perhaps these different definitions contribute to some of the confusion about how to obtain it, how to grow it or how to know if you have it. It’s a conversation that takes many forms in the privacy of our offices, and we’d like to share some practical tips for you to recognize and strengthen it.
Here are four strategies that you can try to feel more intimacy now:
Share thoughts about your inner world and yourself: Make these dreams, fears, goals, and things that have meaning. Talking about work for 10 seconds a day isn’t going to cut it!
Have more uninterrupted conversations: As hard as it is, you must get a babysitter, leave the house, or create a date night in with no technology if you want to spend quality time together. TV on the couch is great, but it won’t build intimacy. If you are a couple who watches TV as you decompression activity, add some cuddling to that downtime.
Share more fun together: Go out and try something know. We realize we preach about this, but sharing new experiences together has been proven to increase connection and intimacy.
Relax your bodies: Do calming things such as give each other massages, take a bubble bath together, hit up a yoga class. A calm body keeps both partners relaxed and more open both physically and emotionally.
Remember that intimacy can mean different things to different couples, but in general, it’s about feeling close to one another…emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. If you and your partner both share about your feelings and dreams, talk about your vulnerabilities, make similar meaning of your world, and feel comfortable enough to open up (both emotionally and physically) without judgement, chances are you are doing well in the intimacy department. If you find that fighting and distance gets in the way of this on a regular basis, you are likely struggling. The therapists at Revive can help you understand what is blocking you from increasing intimacy and equip you with the skills to make it stronger. Step one is being willing to talk about it and we can offer you a safe space to do that in our office. Reach out to schedule an appointment or talk more about how we can help you!