3 Tips to Beat Jealousy

It is normal to feel jealous from time time – most couples, and people for that matter, experience jealousy.  Depending on your background and attachment style, you could have trouble taming jealousy when it creeps up. For this reason, we thought we’d share a few strategies so that you can begin to try and stop it when it is harmful.  

  1. Talking about your feelings is better than acting on them in some cases.  By this, we just mean that it is much better for your relationship to talk before you act when it comes to showing jealousy.  Allowing yourself to act in a jealous way can be threatening, ill-conceived, and seem immature to your partner, which ultimately might drive them away.  However, it’s expected to have normal jealousy feelings and we advise that you give yourself space to bring them up and prepare to feel vulnerable talking about them.  This is how healthy relationships function.
  2. Ask for what you need instead of accuse.  “I’m feeling insecure about so-and-so and I’m trying to figure out why, can you help me understand?” sounds MUCH better than accusing your partner of doing or being a certain way (that he or she may not have been).  By all means, you’re entitled to be angry and upset if your partner betrays you, but if there’s no evidence of this, invite a conversation before you blame.
  3. Work on your self-care and make time to de-stress regularly.  Why, you ask? Because if you’re stressed out, what might be normal feelings of jealousy could get way overblown.  We know you want to be the best version of yourself, and jealousy tends to take hold as a response to stress very easily.  Make sure you are fulfilling your needs and loving yourself, so your jealousy doesn’t come out in the wrong ways.