Secret to Listening to Your Wife

Does your wife or girlfriend ask for more understanding from you and you have NO idea how to give it to her? I want to help you learn how to do this in one simple step. I have found time and time again with clients - both individuals and in couples therapy - the frustration that partners have when it comes to meeting each other’s emotional needs. I don’t like sounding too “men are from mars”-ish, but this is one area where, many times (not every time), women have a difficult time explaining this need and men have a difficult time meeting it.

Our hard wiring and societal influences have contributed greatly to the tendency for men to solve problems first, and at times sort of skip over the listening part. This is so, so common in committed relationships. And it’s VERY hard to change! It takes time, practice, and usually therapy. This is where we come in!

So, MEN - next time your significant other is talking to you about something important to her, complaining about her day, appears out of sorts or frantic, or anything that to you, seems like a problem that you’re not sure how to solve (which in turn makes YOU irritated) - try THIS:

1. Give her a hug (if she generally likes affection)
2. Say, “I’m sorry that you’re feeling {FILL IN EMOTION HERE) right now.”

That’s all. Yes - THAT’S IT!

There is a lot more here to be practiced in therapy when it comes to leaning in to your partner, listening and communication skills that will help you navigate these instances, and more. But for now, try the above and see if the moment takes you into a better place than where you tend to go. Good luck!

If you, or your relationship needs therapy, call us today! A good place to start might be the quiz on our website. We are happy to provide a consultation to better understand your problems, and set up an appointment to get started as soon as possible.