Seeking couples therapy on time is of paramount importance. There are statistics out in the world of research that indicate couples come to therapy, on average, 6 to 7 years too late! If you notice some of the following issues, make that phone call right away to avoid being one of these couples.
- There is way too much distance in your relationship. Are you a couple where one or both of you feel there is no “connection” left? If you are one of these couples, you probably feel like you don’t even fight anymore because you both put in less and less effort. I find in my work with couples that MANY times this has happened simply because you’re just too exhausted to deal with the stress of conflict when you don’t know how to resolve it. Instead of fighting, you give up. It’s easier, and once you both begin to make less and less investment, this state of distance – even though very unhealthy – gets very comfortable. You end up feeling alone in your relationship, simply co existing. You’re basically in roommate status at that point.
- Fighting has gotten out of control. You need conflict resolution skills badly. Or, at the very least, you need to learn how to communicate simple things without it blowing up in your face. There are many dynamics at play when arguments get out of control – whether physiological, mental, unexpressed needs and more. Therapy helps you to sort through what these issues are and learn better ways to deal with them so that fights don’t feel like wars and you can fix them when they do happen.
- There’s been a betrayal of some kind. Betrayal or cheating can be emotional or physical. There’s not much of a difference when it comes to what they do to a relationship. Trust is a pillar of your relationship – when betrayal occurs therapy is typically needed immediately. Close to 70% of couples stay together after cheating – therapy will help you have a better relationship as opposed to just “living with” this offense. Over time, if you choose to live with it avoiding a true healing process, it might just eat your relationship alive.
Of course these are the “biggies”! There is no problem too small or too big to be discussed in the therapy room if it is coming between you and your partner. Don’t hesitate to reach out to REVIVE to begin addressing any of these problems!